Journal entry written on 10/14/18...
My mistrust for people runs deeper than any ocean you've seen. It's strange, not being able to have full faith in anyone, not even family. My experience taught me to never give everything to one person because when they leave, you lose all of it and then some. Words mean less to me than the Venezuelan dollar (worth less than a napkin). If I were to fall for every word, I'd be letting myself fall into an alternate reality that I can not leave until my heart stops from utter shock, when I find out that you aren't really who you say you are. You'll love me forever ? Well show me, because that statement does nothing for me. If I am as different as you say I am, then I wanted to be treated as such. I want you to love me for everything that I am not and cherish everything that I am. Even then I will have reservations. I will always be myself unapologetically, but I wont expect you to stick around. Don't get me wrong, I'll be glad if you do but I wouldn't bet on it. I wouldn't bet on anyone but myself. I used to think that even I couldn't help failing myself, but I am here still pushing; I did that.